My brain is spinning in circles....

Or maybe it's flat-lined....I'm not sure which yet =/ So, my doc finally got my results from my clinic this morning and he wants me to have another u/s tomorrow morning with a trigger tomorrow evening and IUI Friday morning. Now, if my follies grow about 1 mm per day that puts me at:

Righty: 20mm, 19mm and 18mm at trigger and 22ish mm, 21ish mm, and 20ish mm at time of release

Lefty: 2 @ 19mm at trigger and 21ish mm at release

Good, yes? I know it is....I am just so stressed out this cycle it isn't funny. The two clinics thing is hard because every time I try and schedule an u/s at my clinic here I have to explain everything all over again, and it usually goes like this:

Me: "Hi, my name is Katie Major and I need to make a mid-cycle u/s appt. tomorrow"

Lady: "Which doctor ordered it?"

Me: "Well, I am a patient of Dr. K's, but am supposed to be seeing Dr. M in her absence, however yesterday I saw Dr.C for the same thing, but technically the u/s's are being ordered by Dr. W up at (insert clinic here)"

Lady: "Oh, um, ok, let me put you back to u/s to see what they can do"

Me: Sure....and then it starts all over again with the u/s person who happens to answer the phone. It also usually results in them telling me they don't have an appt available and then me telling them that well, these have to be done on certain days of my cycle because it is for an IUI timing etc, etc, and I can't help what day of the week cd14 falls on.

I have made at least 5 phone calls like this since last Thursday. Not to mention the calls to my other clinic to let them know what is going on, when my appts are, etc......see how this can be very tiring? Thank God he didn't want blood work!

Also I think I am nervous because this is the first real cycle (and an IUI at that) post m/c. Holds a bit higher expectation, yes? At least in my heart it does, and not to mention the fact I have never had this many "potentials" so that makes me nervous all in itself....worried it won't work and me wondering what the hell went wrong....was it the timing, the BD schedule, etc, etc (although I know in my head statistically there is a greater chance of this NOT working).....worried if it does work and I have to start worrying about pregnancy again...and then lastly wondering how well it will work if it does.

Plus, I am a bit upset about the fact we BD'd so much thinking I was closer to O than I really am. I mean that was three nights of unenjoyable, almost hurtful, just get it over with sex. Then I ask my nurse if we need to BD tonight (sad when you have to ask a medical professional that isn't it?) and she tells me to abstain since we BD'd last night that 48 hours would be enough for the IUI. Then I point out that by Friday it would have been over 72 hours since the last BD session...then she sounds sort of flustered and goes well, I think you are fine. In my head I am going "fine to what...fine to BD (not that I want too, but I will)....or fine to not BD" I didn't actually ask her, but that answer was a bit ambiguous, do you agree? On my last IUI DH and I BD'd the morning of cd12 and the IUI was the morning of cd14....right at 48 hours and everything was fine.....I guess it just depends on if he initiates it tonight because I won't, but I will go with his flow because it wouldn't hurt the IUI to BD if he *wants* too, which honestly I am guessing not.

Good lord, after reading over this it really sounds like I vomited out what was going on without any coherence at all. Actually, that's how it plays out in my head so maybe this portrait is accurate ;-)