Sunday, March 29, 2009

Just because

1. My exes...are my exes for a reason, but I do wish them well.
2. Maybe I off my credit card.
3. I son and my husband for father he became the day Cullen was born.
4. People would say that...I am very accomplished for my age.
5. I don't understand...child abuse.
6. When I wake up in the morning…I look forward to coffee
7. I have mind most of the time
8. Life is full of...decisions
9. My past taught to be grateful, the beauty of nature and the importance of budget.
10. I get annoyed husband talks politics
11. Parties, but not something I do much of anymore.
12. I wish...I didn't have to worry so much
13. Dogs...are a lot of responsibility.
14. Cats...are something my husband likes.
15. Tomorrow is...the start of another work week.
16. I have a low tolerance for...people with no common sense and stupid drivers
17. If I had a million dollars...I would be less stressed
18. I'm totally terrified of...something happening to Cullen
19. I've come to realize that my last kiss...can always be better.
20. I am listening to...the hum of the dishwasher
21. I talk...a lot and to myself in the car.
22. My best friends...are few and far between.
23. My first real kiss...was picture perfect, honestly.
24. Love is...something that needs to be nurtured.
25. Marriage is...hard work, but rewarding in the end.
26. Somewhere, someone is it 5 o'clock yet?
27. I'll my children's mothers.
28. The last time I really cried was because...actually, I have no idea.
29. My cell phone is...changing in 3 days.
30. Before I go to bed...I check on my son one last time and say thank you to the man upstairs.
31. Right now I am thinking about...the change my life is about to take.
32. Babies are...pure bliss
33. Today I...cleaned the house.
34. Tomorrow I will be...fed-up with work again.
35. I really want to be...a better version of myself.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Yummy toes!

Oh, but before I show this....Cullen rolled completely over on Tuesday =D. For the past week he has been like 7/8 of the way there, but his shoulder was stuck so he was technically on his belly, but still. He apparently fixed that problem two days ago because he can go from back to tummy in 2 seconds flat now; however he has yet to fully complete the tummy to back....we are about 3/4 of the way there with that, lol.

Oh, and by the way, I completely stole the video thing from Nancy, who by the way will be getting some potentially very scary test results back tomorrow if you could send some good thoughts her way.

Anyways, without further adieu....

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Random fact

Well, more like a random bit of information about me....

I LOVE drinking coffee, but I hate the actual taste of plain coffee. See, basically I've decided that coffee is just a vector for my flavored cream and sugar (well, splenda) in the morning...yummy! So because I like said cream SO much I have to have STRONG coffee to counterbalance my love in order to prevent drinking "white" coffee (otherwise known as a latte, which I only like iced, not hot). Weak coffee makes me gag because it isn't "coffee-y" enough.

I am officially a coffee loving, coffee taste hating, strong coffee drinking, flavored cream loving gal =D

Monday, March 23, 2009

Camera hater and heaven on a spoon

Why does my child hate the camera so much? His smiles and laughs are the cutest and I can't share them with anyone. For example, Thomas had Cullen laughing out loud today....I mean, he was completely cracking up with a huge grin. However, as soon as I get the camera out to document this event he goes straight faced. One of these days I will catch his oh so handsome grins =)

In other news, have you ever tried this? It's Ciao Bella sorbetto (I've never had the gelato), but I swear it is heaven on a spoon. My favorite ones SO FAR (although I am sure I will enjoy them all) are the blood orange and blackberry cabernet with actual wine in it. YUM!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Baby gear and parenting.

So, as everyone knows...babies have A LOT of stuff. Granted, there is A LOT of stuff out there that you DON'T need, but none the less there is still a good amount of the stuff you do. Specifically things like carseats, strollers, and diaper bags.....basically all the "get up and go" gear. And all of this baby gear got me thinking yesterday and I want to pose a question to everyone out there.

Do you, knowingly or subconsciously, make an assumption about a parent's (the Moms specifically) overall parenting ability/capability by how easily they are able to carry around/juggle the baby gear in public?

Let me explain.....I am short, 5'1 to be exact and weigh all of 115lbs right now, so I am what most people consider "petite". I cannot wear pants unless they are specifically made "short", and I can easily find shoes in youth department....oh, and capri's...don't even get me started there, lol. It took me a very long time to find a stroller that suited my needs (as most of the handles were boob level on me....hip hip hooray for adjustable ones like on my Graco Metrolite), and wasn't too heavy or big because I wouldn't be able to easily lift it in and out of my car. Then there is the infant seat which I didn't think would be THAT different from model to model....oh how wrong I was. Apparently the seat WE got has a longer handle than most...yes, odd I know, but I have compared mine to several other Graco models. So, the combination of my shortness and the length of the handle usually makes me for a very awkward situation for me, and let's face it, Cullen isn't getting any smaller.

Let me paint a picture. When I pick the carseat up (straight armed) and stand up straight the bottom of the seat is MAYBE 4-5 inches off the ground. When I put it into the crook of my arm to hold it, the bottom is just a hair above my knees. This, as you can imagine, severely throws off my center of gravity, then you throw in the diaper bag and anything else and I'm a down right mess at times when I am toting him around because (and I admit) I don't look steady on my feet (hell, most of the time I'm not!). Also, just as a side note...we ARE looking for a new seat that better suits my needs, but anyways. Also, you can forget me putting his seat onto a shopping cart because I can't see around it OR over it. I look like I am 12 years old pushing around my baby brother. do you get the picture to answer the question?

When you see me (or any mother like me) toting around my baby like this...awkward, seemingly unsteady, and in the case of the shopping cart...downright undoable....would you make an assumption about my parenting? Such as...."aww, poor thing" or "wow, she seems unsure" or anything of the sort. Would your opinion of someone with the EXACT same baby gear change if they were taller (which usually makes them appear older too) and seemed to do everything with ease?

Just Thursday food for thought.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


There have been a lot of surprise BFP's in IF blogger world in the past week or so (and because I'm lame, I am just getting around to seeing them). So, congrats and good luck to everyone!

Also, as a sidenote here, speaking of would have been my 1 year blogoversary (um, did I spell that right?) for my pregnancy blog (although I stopped posting on it about a week after Cullen was born). So happy pseudo-blogoversary to me, lol =)

Monday, March 16, 2009

One year ago today (trigs)

One year ago today I put my final hope on a pee stick. One year ago today my FF chart looked like this. One year ago today I got my first faint BFP with Cullen; it was a Sunday and I was 9dpIUI. That beautiful line will be 4 months old this Wednesday.

This was only a dream one year ago today.....

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Sometimes I wish.....

....that I wasn't an emotional eater.
....that I could play the piano like my dad and grandfather.
....that I liked my house more.
....that I didn't have to move again despite not liking my house.
....that I hadn't taken time off to work between degrees.
....that I loved to exercise like I used to.
....that I didn't get so frustrated at my dogs.
....that I didn't have to get rid of my dogs despite them driving me crazy.
....that I didn't have to work.
....that I was sure of my purpose.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The minipill

Anyone out there in blogland on the minipill? Do you have any s/e from it? Like...affects on your libido perhaps? Because, I am having a HUGE issue with that now. Yes, I know that BFing mothers often have issues in that department, but this is more than a physical thing (I'm certainly not afraid to use lube when needed); it is a huge emotional libido's not that I can't do it, it's that I dont WANT to do it. I'm not ashamed of my post baby bod, I'm not overly tired and Cullen is sleeping soundly through the night, so it's none of that. I can't think of anything else that might be causing it but my birth control. Before I started this pill, Thomas and I had sex (yes, we used back up AND it was GOOD sex) and this is my 3rd month on the minipill (Errin to be exact) and I can't even kiss him it is that low.....seriously, something has to be done.

Suggestions? Thoughts?

Monday, March 9, 2009

On the fence

I think I am a bit on the fence about this article (warning, it, as well as my discussion is spewing with motherhood, pregnancy, and even a bit IF related related material). I definitely think there is a time and a place for this sort of chit-chat, but I think this author may be a bit extreme. For those who read it, do you think it depends on what type of work environment you engage in? The type of people there? Are lunch hours and break time excluded? Or is this simply the truth in ALL situations?

For example, I work at a college with a lot of mother colleagues and on lunch we will occasionally tell stories of how our kids are doing or swap advice on this subject or that. We are not forcing anyone to join our conversation, but does simply the fact we talk about it at all make us one of THOSE people? Also, even in the short time Cullen has been here I have noticed it does, undoubtedly, affect my work, especially in time. Such as, I used to always stay after 5 to finish up any strings for the day (now, luckily my strings don't affect anyone else immediately, so maybe my situation is a bit different), BUT now I have to leave right at 5 to get him from the babysitters because it takes me 30 minutes to get there.....or if he is sick (as he was last week) I have to stay off because I couldn't take him to daycare, and although I still got all of my work done for the week and I was using MY time...does it make me a worse employee than someone without children?

Now, I will say the CEO in question was a bit rude for keeping everyone waiting in THIS situation and a simple "Sorry for running a bit behind" would have sufficed AND you certain use an air of caution (as in not talking about it ALL the time-that is what blogs are for-lol or on a serious note, if you know someone is dealing with IF); however is talking (or asking) about children AT ALL a double standard? If children fill up a lot of your free time, then why can't you talk about it if questions like "how did your weekend go?" or "what did you do Friday?" arise. Is it true that singles or people without children (intentionally or otherwise) can talk about their exciting weekends of traveling or entertaining or even working at home and it is acceptable, but one mention of Billy's soccer game or Sally's dance recital send people running thinking you are a blubbering, less respected idiot?

Although I agree parents should have a life separate from their children AND it is important to keep your other life accomplishments in the spotlight as being "who you are" AND that it is more appropriate to say that "children are the best thing that ever happened to me" instead of "children are the best thing I've ever done", is the rest of this article on point?


Guess what!

I got my acceptance letter for my MS program this weekend =). As of Aug. 18th, I will officially be a full time master's student (oh, and employee, Mom and wife....umm, yeah). I just have to keep telling myself this will all be worth it in about 2.5 years =).

Sunday, March 1, 2009

It's snowing....

Like an honest to God, steady snow. Welcome to winter in soon as March rolls around, so does the precipitation. The biggest snowstorm on record happened March 15, 1993....not that this is ANYTHING like that, we are only supposed to get 2-4 inches today, BUT it's so classic.