What a sad face.....

That's what one of the guests at the shower said to me after she took an unexpected picture. She was a friend of my cousin's, not family, so she probably didn't have any idea about the m/c. However, I survived....it was like a knife in my heart (or gut, whichever you prefer) for an hour and half, but I lived through it. It was definitely bittersweet....I almost lost it when the dad-to-be put a monogrammed burp cloth over his shoulder, and all I could imagine was DH holding our little baby. Then I almost lost it again when my cousin started thanking everyone for coming and celebrating such a great miracle, etc, etc....her husband was holding her hand and then he kissed her.....yeah, that hurt. She will be 34 weeks tomorrow....I would have been 24 (our turnover day was the same-Sunday). She will probably have her baby in two weeks (health issues), and all odds are I will be starting AF. Hey, maybe I can get a surprise BFP on the day he is born.....I think God has a sense of humor like that sometimes....although maybe just thinking that I ruined my own surprise....damn.