Sunday, December 2, 2007

The dumbest of places....

So, all in all I would say that I have handled my m/c fairly well. I had two "major" breakdowns, one the day we found out and one several days after, but since then I have been so engrossed in the medical aspect of what was happening and so concentrated on moving on I haven't really been sad anymore. Maybe that is a good thing, but maybe not depending on who you ask. DH and I even got this little, silver ornament in honor of our babies that has two angels on it as a scroll that says "In loving memory" and a poem with it; you can see it here

The poem that goes with it always makes me tear up just a little, but I thought I would write them out (even though they are fairly well known)...

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why

Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No on will ever know

But know we know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

Since you’ll never be forgotten
We pledge to you today
A hallowed place within our hearts
Is where you’ll always stay

Author Unknown

Anyways, my point is...for the most part, DH and I are doing OK in that department. We can talk about it without being sad, and we are really looking forward to continuing our journey. Well, this brings me to yesterday, and the original purpose for this blog. Yesterday morning I went to get my regular pedicure, and right as I was finishing up another lady walked into the room for her manicure appt. and she was carrying a baby carrier. Turns out it was her grandbaby, and I am assuming the mother is younger because this lady looked a little young to be a grandmother already and she mentioned the fact they all live at her house, but I digress. This baby was absolutely adorable! She actually looked a lot like two of my nieces so maybe that is why I thought she was so cute...they had the exact same big, baby blue eyes ;-). So I go on to learn that the little one is about 6 months sweet right? THEN I realize that my babies would have been that exact age this time next year because my EDD was June, 3rd, and THAT hurt. THAT thought made me cry a little....not a lot, and really not enough for anyone to notice, just a tear or two, but it was the first time in what feels like a long time I was actually sad about it.

Sometimes it's the most random, little things huh?

1 comment:

Jen said...

I know what you mean. I was having trouble at church today because there were a couple of pregnant women there who were about as far along as I should have been.