So, I put the religion tag at the top of this because this isn't something I normally blog about, and probably won't again. Although I consider myself to be a religious person, I don't like to push it on people who don't want to hear it, and it is a very private issue for me (ironically enough I find talking about the ins, outs and inner-workings of my lady parts and sex life a bit less intimate). But, all of that aside I do pray and believe in the existence of God as a higher power.
Now, disclaimer aside, lets move on. Last night I was doing my usual blog bouncing. I started with one person's blog, saw a comment from someone and went to their blog, and so on and so on. Somewhere in all of my lurking I stumbled into the blog world of 2nd trimester losses.....and worse yet, recurring ones. I have never seen such sadness seeping out onto a computer, and my heart ached for every single one of those women.....and last night I prayed for them and felt the need to say thank you to MY higher power, and here is what I am thankful for....
~Thank you for my house. Although it is not ideally what I want and there are many things I hope to change in the future, it is mine, I own it, and it is home. Something that so many people cannot say. My house protects me from cold, blustery winter nights like last night, it provides coolness in the heat of summer, running water, and a safe haven to run to at the end of the day.
~Thank you for my job. Although there are times when I want to be doing *more* with my life, this job (and my husbands) pays the bills, puts food on the table, pays for the above mentioned house, and is even gracious enough for us to live comfortably.
~Thank you for my family (and friends) who provide much needed friendship and support
~Thank you for my dog, who annoys me sometimes in her disobedient puppy ways, but in her presence brings laughter, comfort, and a feeling of security at night.
~Lastly, thank you for my fertility journey. Although it HAS been hard, and at times I didn't understand why things happen they way they did and I have seen my share of tears; thank you for letting me still have hope. Thank you for not making it SO hard and filled with tragedy I am defeated by my own accord. I curse when my hope fails me (as it often does) but the point is, I am still able to let myself have it and THAT is what matters.
4 comments:
The visiting minister at my church (ours left this summer and we can't afford a new one, which is just sad in itself) preached a month or two ago about how to pray, noting that so many people focus on what they need/want and forget to give thanks for what they have and seek forgiveness for their failings. It inspired me to continue to pray in a fuller and more complete way, a journey that began during our limbo/waiting to miscarry period, when I reluctantly accepted that having faith meant having faith that whatever happened was what was meant to happen and that I would be a stronger person for it, even though it was excruciating at the time. So thanks for your post, as it served as yet another reminder to keep doing so.
I saw a quote somewhere recently that was about what would happen if God all of a sudden started taking away from us what we hadn't thanked Him for. It then asked how many of our limbs, facilities, etc. would be left to us. That really struck home to me.
I also don't really blog about religion often. I think because I don't talk about it in real life often either. It is the same private issue thing for me.
:)
:)
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