Postpartum reflections

I had my 6 week follow-up visit today, which means technically my postpartum time frame is up (although as many mothers will tell you, it can last much longer than that). As for the appt. itself all is well, my incision is great, I'm about 8 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight, got my pap taken care of as well because it was due, and got my prescription for the mini pill since Thomas and I want to wait about 2.5 years to start trying again (plus if all goes well I am starting my MS program in the Fall, so no baby during that time). However, I started thinking today of how my postpartum has been, and have a few reflections about it.

First of all, I would have to say that my pp has been fairly easy compared to many I have seen/heard/read about. My milk came in 2 days after delivery and except for the whole engorgement phase BF has been great and I really enjoy it (although pumping I'm not so crazy about), Cullen has never been a fussy baby and except for a rare night here and there has slept in 3 hour increments at night from the beginning, my husband took off 3 weeks in the beginning and really was/is such a great help, and I never really felt that "off"/bluesy feeling that usually correlates with the postpartum time, but there are a few things that make me sad or stress me out....

1.) Talking about/listening about the state of our economy. It just flat out makes me sad, and it makes me feel like I am bringing my son up in a failing country. It makes me feel like I won't be able to provide for him completely and family vacations may be cut short.

2.) My house...Thomas and I desperately want to move, but again that poses a problem if you refer to sadness number one.

3.) My job. I was almost at my wits end before I left and now that I have been gone for 6 weeks (with 3 more to go.....woo-hoo!) I really, really, really, REALLY don't want to go back.

4.) Child care. We still have no idea what we are going to do. We are on several waiting lists, but haven't heard a thing yet, and I haven't found an at home day-care that will work. I am working on finding a part-time night job that will allow me to stay at home with Cullen and bring in the money that I would be bringing in with my full time job sans the amount needed for day care (which is 500-800 a month depending on the facility). This means I need to bring in about 1000 a month, and yes for anyone who can add I just gave away my crappy salary. So much for that piece of paper hanging on my wall that is supposed to mean something huh?

5.) Being pregnant. This is my last item that makes me blue sometimes because I truly, truly miss being pregnant, and it does make me sad (please don't interpret this as I don't love my son on the outside because it is two completely different things). I loved it (the whole pregnancy thing that is)! I took a bath tonight and realized the last time I took one was 2 nights before I delivered so I was still very pregnant. I used to love bathtime with the baby bump because Cullen would always respond to the water I poured over my belly; it was so awesome to feel. There are times when I get a muscle twitch or a small gas bubble and think "wow, that is what it used to feel like in the beginning". I put my hands on my abdomen and am just in awe of what it did for 9 months and what it looks like now. It is so bittersweet to have that time period of my life over right now, and it is something I will truly cherish.

Also (this isn't a sad thing), the one thing I find myself doing as a new Mom is love talking to first time pregnant Moms. I feel so empowered to be the one on the advice giving part of this subject now =) However, I always make sure the person on the other end actually wants it or as asked for it, because didn't that crazy, unwanted baby info from everyone else drive you crazy? ;-)