Monday, May 4, 2009

Infertility Insight

Since I'm leaving (well, more like being squeezed out, but leaving sounds so much better doesn't it?) my job I've interviewed with my old employment, Applebees, and I have another interview as a CNA this Wednesday. Well, today the manager from Applebees called back to make sure I still wanted to work there (actually I want the other job, but I wasn't going to turn down a sure thing until I found out about this new position) so I said yes. She said to call her back closer to my start date (May 18th) and we will get everything set up. Then she told me to have a happy Mothers Day (because we talked about my son during the first meeting) and I told her "Thank you, you too".

As soon as I said it my brain went "oh no!". What if she wasn't a mother? I know she was married, but what if she was infertile, come to think of it she never mentioned children....what if she was forced to make the decision to live child-free? What if she was in the 2WW? I immediately felt bad for reciprocating the Mother's Day wishes. At first I thought "how could I forget so quickly how much those words can hurt?", but then I realized maybe the simple fact that I DID instantly wonder, instantly second guess that statement, means I didn't forget at all.

Funny the insight that infertility, present or past, can give you about common everyday interactions.


nancy said...

Yeah, it's a crazy thought to think about, isn't it? And I think that once it's said, you totally shouldn't take it back - that could hurt worse. I'm sure you are okay though, since she opened it up. Had she been an infertile in a hurtful place, she'd not of said it to you, even knowing you were a mom.

docgrumbles said...

It does affect you. When people admire my daughter in the supermarket, I find myself looking around and wondering if an infertile is standing nearby getting her feelings hurt.

jenn said...

I do't think you ever forget- thinking that instant 'oh no!' does mean that you remember & are sensitive to it still. I do agree with Nancy though- I think she wouldn't have brought it up had she not been in a place to talk about mother's day.