This is something I have been battling with since stepping over to the other side of the IF fence. This issue of supporting those still struggling...is my support viewed as sincere as it was before, or is the support of an ex (at least for the time being) IFer seem a bit jaded (or maybe even condescending) in the situation? Does an I'm sorry or I'm thinking of you coming from someone currently trying have more worth and meaning than someone who isn't but was?
I remember getting comments from those who were pregnant, and although I am glad they were keeping up and supporting me, it always seemed to be a "well, why do you really care or how do you really understand" moment, even when I know they probably did. Now that I find myself in this current position however I do realize it is a very delicate balance between wanting so desperately to support and to let people know I'm still out here rooting for them, but yet wondering if that support is doing more harm than good. Or debating if one doesn't comment at all does it appear as if they have forgotten every non-pregnant person exists, or do they seem selfish and self-absorbed as to "not care" about anyone TTCing anymore, if in fact the comments they do give aren't perceived as sincere. Sidenote here: actually this is the reason I really like it when others use wordpress because if I am commenting on a TTC blog I can put my everyday blog on there, and if it is a parenting or preggo blog I can link my "other" one.
Anyways, I have several (ok, maybe a lot) of people I still follow and desperately hope, wish and pray life stops beating them down with the shit stick. I don't mind not being able to spew out every single detail of what is going on with me because truly they are the ones who need support right now. I just really hope what I still say is viewed as 100% supportive, involved and sincere. I have this theory that some of the issue lies in bitterness. There are still situations that bring me back to TTC and I just cringe to hear them, and I still can't fathom the idea of "accidental pregnancy" knowing the struggle myself and many others went through/are still going through, but I will admit some of that harsh bitterness has gone. I will also admit that during the past year or so of TTC I was bitter, I was angry, and I was jealous. I still have those feelings sometimes (old habits die hard), but yet, I now have a new reason to be thankful, and I can "tolerate" more and I now have an additional (possibly more positive?) point of view. Yes, the bitter is gone, but it isn't forgotten; however because it's gone do those still going through IF feel as if someone in my position can't relate anymore?
Does anyone (IFer, ex-IFer, or otherwise) have any thoughts on this? Any and all honest opinions would be appreciated.