Sincere support.....

This is something I have been battling with since stepping over to the other side of the IF fence. This issue of supporting those still struggling...is my support viewed as sincere as it was before, or is the support of an ex (at least for the time being) IFer seem a bit jaded (or maybe even condescending) in the situation? Does an I'm sorry or I'm thinking of you coming from someone currently trying have more worth and meaning than someone who isn't but was?

I remember getting comments from those who were pregnant, and although I am glad they were keeping up and supporting me, it always seemed to be a "well, why do you really care or how do you really understand" moment, even when I know they probably did. Now that I find myself in this current position however I do realize it is a very delicate balance between wanting so desperately to support and to let people know I'm still out here rooting for them, but yet wondering if that support is doing more harm than good. Or debating if one doesn't comment at all does it appear as if they have forgotten every non-pregnant person exists, or do they seem selfish and self-absorbed as to "not care" about anyone TTCing anymore, if in fact the comments they do give aren't perceived as sincere. Sidenote here: actually this is the reason I really like it when others use wordpress because if I am commenting on a TTC blog I can put my everyday blog on there, and if it is a parenting or preggo blog I can link my "other" one.

Anyways, I have several (ok, maybe a lot) of people I still follow and desperately hope, wish and pray life stops beating them down with the shit stick. I don't mind not being able to spew out every single detail of what is going on with me because truly they are the ones who need support right now. I just really hope what I still say is viewed as 100% supportive, involved and sincere. I have this theory that some of the issue lies in bitterness. There are still situations that bring me back to TTC and I just cringe to hear them, and I still can't fathom the idea of "accidental pregnancy" knowing the struggle myself and many others went through/are still going through, but I will admit some of that harsh bitterness has gone. I will also admit that during the past year or so of TTC I was bitter, I was angry, and I was jealous. I still have those feelings sometimes (old habits die hard), but yet, I now have a new reason to be thankful, and I can "tolerate" more and I now have an additional (possibly more positive?) point of view. Yes, the bitter is gone, but it isn't forgotten; however because it's gone do those still going through IF feel as if someone in my position can't relate anymore?

Does anyone (IFer, ex-IFer, or otherwise) have any thoughts on this? Any and all honest opinions would be appreciated.

A day at the track....

Two tickets to enter the track: 80.00

A medicore lunch at the concession stand: 17.00

Two ice cream cones: 7.00

Gas to and from: 50.00

Dinner at Subway (because we were too pooped for anything else): 15.00

Spending a fun, stress-free day with the hubby: Priceless =)

Off to the races!

OK, well it's not really a race....but off to the walk I go! Hubby took the digital camera to his auto race event today, so I am stuck with the disposable one. Because of this I won't have pictures to post immediately, but I will definitely get them up within the next few days. =)

Oh, and as a final donation update.....my team raised 780.00 dollars online, and I believe one of my members is brining money to the race today so I'm expecting about 800.00ish total from our four people. Yay!

My husband has my car

Which sucks....because if I had my car right now I would have taken a half day off work before I end up quitting. Honestly, how can one company employee so many incompetent people (who, btw, are probably making more money than me). Nobody knows their head from their ass around here, and I'm fed up. If this was the first time this happened....sure, let it go, if this was the 2nd time it happened....ok, a little annoyed, but still fine.....if this was the 3rd time....angry, but still worked it all out.....now on the FOURTH or FIFTH time this exact same problem has come up and accounting expects ME to fix it, when it is clearly an invoice issue that I don't deal with or need to be involved in (or have it remotely in my job description)...pisses me the hell off. I could feel my blood pressure in my face today....and I normally run low!!! This was the same crap that happened back in late sept/early oct. when I lost the twins....so the fact I keep getting this same stress, I'm relating it to that event, and I just can't do it much longer.

Little do they know though that I may not be coming back in 2009. I'm looking into an MT certificate in which I can work independently and at home. That should take about 6-9 months to finish, so if I DO come back, it will only be for a very short amount of time (as in enough time to give my 30 day notice). Because on top of other things, I am going to be working my ass off to find an MT job during Nov., Dec. and Jan.

Countdown! **Updated**

OK, so there are 3 days until my CF walk and as of this morning I haven't received any specific information about that day from the chapter head. Obviously I know where it is and what time to be there, but I haven't been given a map of the walking route, rain plans, food and refreshment info (are lunch, snacks, or water provided?), things like that. I just feel that at this point in the game, all of this stuff should have been sent out to team leaders. Just saying.

Update: I did finally get a call today for any final details, however I am now sort of bummed. As it turns out, the walk in my area is NOT a 10K like the national website states....it's only 3 miles (technically not even a 5K, but pretty close). I felt great walking that 5K 2 weeks ago, and I was really excited about upping my distance. Poop!

1 week from today!

My CF walk is one week from today. The weather is supposed to be great and I'm really excited! I will of course have updates and pictures to share =)

Mother focker.....

So today for lunch I had signed up for a colloquium series in which lunch was provided in little individual boxes with our names on them. Well, as it turns out I had to help my husband with something on lunch (he doesn't work on Fridays) and missed my meeting. So, I walk up there as the presentation was ending, saying I was sorry I couldn't make it (it was optional to begin with), but asked if I could get my lunch. I didn't eat while Thomas and I went out because I knew I had lunch already here. Um, as it turns out the lady who handed out the lunches decided to give my lunch to my manager because she didn't see me. Hello, that was MY lunch with MY name on it. I don't give a shit if something came up and I couldn't make it to lunch until 1 not 12....it was MY lunch!!!! She made it her executive decision to give my lunch to someone else who just decided to show up today. Seriously, WTH!!! Now I'm royally pissed off.....and hungry! God, maybe this shouldn't piss me off as much as it does....it's not even about not getting lunch...it's about someone just giving my stuff away without even bothering to know what came up that prevented me from being there.

I really need to be on salary

Honestly by 3pm everyday I am completely done with my work, and sit at my desk on the internet until I am allowed to punch out at 5. Even my manager says this job needs to be salary, but my company won't change it. Today was incredibly boring as will tomorrow be because it is the end of the semester and there just isn't a lot happening around here. I understand how people can abuse the power of being "salary" but seriously, I am literally getting paid to sit on my butt. Now I know that people will say "oh, there is always things to do at work" whether it be cleaning your desk or better organizing files, etc, but here's the thing with that. My company doesn't give jack shit about the "exceptional worker" because they aren't will to acknowledge their excellence. The more you are wiling to do, the more they add that to your job description instead of saying it is "above and beyond" what you were hired for. For example, there is a lady that I work with who has been here for years and is involved in everything known to man here....fund raisers, meetings, parties, clubs....you name it, she does it. Do you know what her annual raise is? 4% because that is the cap my company will give.....do you know what mine is? 3.5% and I have days where I sit at my desk ALL DAY LONG, but I get my work done. Oh and now that she has done all of those things in the past, she is expected to do them again in the future or her yearly eval level is actually lowered even though NONE of that is her actual job description.

Does anyone else see an issue here? So, the way I see it....why do any of that crap to begin with if you aren't going to get acknowledged for a job well done and then get "demerited" if you don't feel like taking that extra time one year even though you do your actual job wonderfully.

Maybe you say this is the talk of a bad worker? However, I don't think so....I have had a job since I was 16 and I'm a great worker....but I'm a worker that is tired of getting crapped on by her own company. I know most jobs aren't "fun", but this company takes the cake for craziness and disorganization. I really can't wait to start looking for something else closer to the end of this year.

April 16th, 2007

One year ago today.....

.....I remember being alarmed when the local news broad casted the story of a potential shooting at Virgina Tech Campus.....

.....I remember being horrified as the day went on and the situation became more grim....

.....I remembering wondering if my friends on campus were OK....

.....I remember the incredible sadness that fell across the Nation, but most of all, in HOKIE nation....

One year ago today.....

.....VT went down in history for reasons no one should have to face....

....A campus I knew and loved became the site of a senseless massacre....

.....Students and teachers became hero's....

....The lives of 33 families were changed forever....Yes, I said 33, because HIS family became victims that day too....

~*~We Will Never Forget~*~

Weekend Update

~Yesterdays walk went great and I finished it in 53 minutes =) It rained briefly while we were walking back to the start line (and the place of drinks and refreshments) but actually felt quite nice.

~Our furniture was delivered yesterday and it looks great! I will post a picture or two once we get everything exactly how we want.

~It's 12:30pm and I have a paper due in about 24 hours. One that I have yet to start, and even better....I haven't decided what I actually want to write it about. I am supposed to be looking right now, but obviously I am procrastinating.

~Overall, this weekend has been rather hectic and tiring....I need an extra day to sleep in, haha.

I like new things.....

So, Thomas and I went out a got a new living room suit today, and I am pretty excited. We really needed new furniture and got a nice deal on this one. We also talked to my Dad about all the plans we want to do to the house before November, and he said it could be easily done (yay!) so we are going to go get our loan in the next few weeks and start the upgrading! In the end we will have a new kitchen, new bathroom and a finished basement that will add about 400 sq. ft. to the total of the house. =)

My women's walk is tomorrow

The 5K one. Again, not so bad except for the fact it is going to raining all morning....ugh =/ Guess I need to go buy a poncho huh?

My life in pictures....

So I found this through Nancy, but am stealing it from Sara a.k.a Dr. Grumbles.

~Type your answer into the “search” box.
~Pick an image from the first page.
~Copy and paste answer into blog.

My name is....
KATIE....Sidenote here: I originally typed in my whole name "Katherine" and literally came up with half a page of half naked women....all who look better than me in a bathing suit, so there is no way I am putting them on my blog, lol.

My relationship status is.....
MARRIED

My favorite color is...
TEAL

My celebrity crush is...
MATT DAMON

My favorite princess...
GRACE (as in Kelly)

My favorite adult beverage is...
MOJITO

My Dream Vacation is....
A SUNNY BEACH

When I grow up I want to be....
HEALTHY and LOVED

Confession of the day.....

Ok, so the underwear I wore today is the Hanes "seamless" tagless ones and when I got to work I realized I put them on inside out, and it was too late to change them back....oops!!

April is the time to walk!!

As everyone knows I have my G.reat Stri.des walk coming up on the 26th of this month. As a side note here, my team is over halfway to our goal (thanks to some wonderful, wonderful blogger women out there!). Anyways, I found out yesterday the final distance for the walk is 10K (6.2 miles), a little longer than I originally thought, but not too bad....at 20 minutes a mile you are looking at around 2ish hours of walking fun! =)

Well, the school I work for is sponsoring the local women's walk on April 12th and my co-worker wanted me to join her team....so I did. I figured why not, it is only 5K and will get me geared up for my 10K two weeks later. Luckily there is no fund raising involved in this one, the money is made via a registration fee, which is being covered by my company. So, needless to say April is definitely a month of walking for me (on top of the fact I walk almost everyday after work)! However,I really love walking outside when the weather warms up, so I am kind of excited about it. =D

Sex question....

I should probably put this as a poll, but oh well....I have a sex question for everyone. How often do you and DH/DP/BF or whatever have sex per week? For those who have known me a little bit, you know that this is always an issue at my house.....I personally feel like DH and I don't FD enough. Sure, he is always saying he thinks I'm hot or sexy and such, but he never "acts" on those words. I'm not saying he doesn't mean them, I'm sure he does, it's just that it doesn't seem like I really turn him on like I should. I dunno, I was just curious about the activity in everyone else's household.....

Oh, and to answer my own question....DH and I have sex about 3 times a month =/