I'm sure anyone who has ever suffered through a loss (unfortunately I can't say mine is over yet, but still) has heard this exact statement. I first heard it from my doctor, then my mom, then both of my SIL's. Now, before going any further I will admit that I used to be one of "those" TTCers who secretly thought this occasionally for those who got their BFP and then returned to the world of TTC (as a side note, this was NEVER thought about in regards to an IFer). There were even times in the deep, dark spot of a crappy cycle that I thought "at least if that happens to me, I would know I could at least conceive in the first place."
Yeah I now know that statement is completely and utterly crazy! Who in the hell in their right mind would wish this upon themselves?!??! I have been on both sides of fence, and believe me I preferred the days when I was still wondering if I could conceive or not. Fear of the unknown is nothing like the fear of wondering if this will happen again *if* we ever conceive again. This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done so far in my journey.
I don't blame those who make this statement because they don't "know" what it's truly like unless it happened to them, and honestly it does seem like the most appropriate thing to say in a time like this. I will even go as far as to say that I have said it to myself several times since this whole ordeal began, and it did offer some comfort.....but a word to the wise, coming from other people....this statement doesn't help (at least not when wounds are fresh). To me it's the same as telling someone going through secondary IF that they should be happy because they conceived before and have a healthy child, even when their heart is aching for another little one. Seems similar, yes? Anyways...just my ramblings for tonight.
P.S-This is in no way directed toward anyone specific. It was just something I was pondering after hearing this again from my doctor today and realizing how many times I've heard it in the past 2 weeks.