Friday, October 10, 2008

The beginning of the end

One year ago today I saw what should have been my twins for the first time. A year ago today I already knew something was wrong. A year ago, I spent the next two days worrying and researching until my fears were confirmed two days later by a doctor that truly cared. Then for the next three days I did nothing but cry, needless to say it was a hard week, and honestly I fell more in love with my husband for reasons that I would have never understood before.

I can't believe it's been a year....a year since I saw the first tear in my husband's eye when he saw his "babies" on the screen. A whole year of my life that really doesn't seem that long at all. What I really can't believe is a year later I am sitting here smiling at my 33 week belly as I feel my son move and stretch inside it. That is truly a miracle to me. One of my greatest fears after losing my first pregnancy, and having the dream of children ripped from my heart once again was that we would have to go years more of nothing. Years more of infertility and heartache...but that didn't happen, and sometimes I still wonder, through it all, how I got so blessed.

4 comments:

Jen said...

I'll be thinking of all of you today.

Kelly said...

I hope having Cullen moving around in your belly makes this anniversary easier to take. I'm hoping that is the case with Lily's 1st birthday too.

((hugs to you)) on this tough day!

Love the new blog look!

Mel said...

(((HUGS)))

I just had to check on you as I've been thinking about you a lot. Something in my gut told me your due date is nearing and turns out my gut was right!

Here's hoping the next 7 weeks are easy ones for you and that Cullen makes his appearance right on time!

docgrumbles said...

Growing another one does make an anniversary sting less, but not completely, of course.